Cuddy

Simon Cudworth was one of the funniest people I ever met.  He had a huge circle of friends from school and the scouts. He entertained us with his impersonations of Jacques Cousteau and recitals of Monty Python from Jack Cudworth’s huge record collection. He was a wonderful mimic, and the tea – time summoning of Henry Shiel by his mother used crack us up. ‘Henn-reeee’ she would shriek from her back door. Simon could imitate her perfectly and would have Henry running home for his non-existent tea from all parts of the neighbourhood.

Philippe Tasse De Montague was a French student who came to learn English and stayed with the Cudworths.  Simon managed to teach him how to do a perfect impersonation of Wilfred Brambel and Harry H Corbett in Steptoe and Son. ‘Aarold’ the old man would shout. ‘Oh my gawd’, was the reply from his put-upon son. Philippe’s parents must have been delighted when he returned to France quoting English comedy TV in a cockney accent.  It must be on YouTube somewhere.

Another saying of Simon’s was, ‘Uh huh nawt the hahsee’. For years he would come out with this statement and I never knew what he was on about. Eventually, I asked him. This was the reaction of American mobsters when condemned to the electric chair, translated roughly as, ‘Oh no, not the hot seat’.

Simon was mad about motorbikes. He made up a name which included all of the bike names that he knew. It ended, ‘triunchnortuzzidavidson’. We managed to accumulate various old motorbikes, including an NSU Quickly, a Motobi, a Honda Fifty and the crowning glory which was Simon’s single cylinder BSA 250 which was very noisy. We rode these bikes illegally up and down the road dodging the Gardai from Dundrum police station. The NSU had pedals to help you get going and the two gears were on the handlebars necessitating a quick flick with the wrist to change gears.

Simon went everywhere on his racer bicycle. The handlebars on Simon’s racer used swivel up and he always used flick them down as he swung left into his drive coming home from school. He cycled to Blessington with someone and asked a farmer if they could sleep in their barn. The farmer’s wife took pity on them, took them in, gave them dinner and let them sleep on her couch. I think it was a fishing expedition to the lakes.